I meant what I said, but how could I have said it better?
This is a question I often ask myself. I was never taught how to communicate or how to listen. I don’t believe many people are, especially not in our formative years while in grade school. It’s only when our life seems to come crumbling down, when we’re in pain, that we decide it’s time to do some work… The work. A combination of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual studies that help us function well and uncover what produces peace and joy in us so we can be at our best with and for others.
I was visiting a lifelong, amazing friend of mine. A rare friend that wants to know exactly what you’re thinking and why. It can make a person feel uncomfortable if you’re not used to people really caring that deeply and listening with earnest and eager attention. My friend and his wife moved into a ranch in the beautiful hills of Southern California, and here is the view we got to enjoy as we dug deep into our discussions.
I was happy, yet surprised, when he told me, he reads all of my current newsletters. I took a deep breath and braced myself, expecting to hear, “What in the world are you doing?” He looked me straight in the eye, and declared, “ they are really good.” Then, I got the, “ what in the world are you doing?” He’s a coach in every sense of the word, from acting, business, financial, and life coach. I value his advice immensely, not only because he is a seasoned coach, but also because I know he truly cares about my wellbeing.
So…Here’s what I’m doing:
I named the newsletter, Fins On, Week Strong. “Fins on” means that the content, information, inspiration, or music and songs will help us prepare for the week ahead. I share proven strategies and material in a creative way to help propel us through rough spots, thoughts, and beliefs that threaten to pull us down. Wearing fins in the ocean provides leverage to propel out of strong currents just like a peaceful and prepared mindset can help us cope and even grow when tension and strife builds up.
When I pick up and read from a good book, I see myself strapping on my fins before heading out into the ocean of life. There are many experiences I’ve had that could have turned out horrible if I hadn’t had a good book that I was reading at the time. I’ve had people come to me and say, “I’m sorry I treated you so poorly, but I’m wondering how you were able to handle that so well.” My reply is always, “I’m reading a good book." It hasn’t always been this way.
Every “Fins On” newsletter contains something I learned, or had to work on the week earlier. Something I’ve applied to help me create a brighter picture in my mind. When I’m able to create a brighter picture in my mind, regardless of the circumstances or events, my feelings improve, my actions, or non-actions are more productive, and I get better results. They may not look like successful results from societal standards, but the results please me and the ones I love the most… eventually.
The mission of our company, D1 Productions, is to help young leaders break the grip of fear, uncertainty, and doubt, so they can be effective listeners and responders. To break the grip of anxiety we must learn how to communicate with ourselves first, and then how to communicate effectively with others. I enjoy learning, applying, and teaching these lessons because it fuels me and also because the students light up when they hear what I’ve learned and how I share the content.
I created two entertaining messages, Break That Grip and CPR Starts with The Heart. These messages teach easy-to-remember and simple strategies. They are given the acronyms SOAR and RISE, respectively. The strategies are not complicated but they are challenging. It takes research, awareness, lived experience, application, mistakes, consistency, and lots of help from above to successfully and consistently employ them. When you start to see a change in your behavior that produces a much better mood and result, it’s so worth the effort.
The ultimate plan of D1P is to raise up young, energetic youth, who want to learn and then teach the SOAR and RISE strategies with their own unique twist. Their fellow students will learn how to stay safe in the ocean, break the grip of strife in life, how to perform hands-only CPR, and how to respond effectively in stressful situations.
An immense amount of time, money, and attention is spent on youth sports and physical development. College athletics is a huge draw with an army of hard-working young people pursuing a dream that may have been plastered into their minds via the television set. Many parents watch so much competitive sports on the tv screen that a youngster can start to believe that’s the only way to get the love and attention they yearn for. The kids then feel a desperate need and desire to make it onto television themselves. Death by suicide among U.S. college athletes have doubled over the past two years, according to the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA).
If we take some of that attention away from the screens and direct it to creative ways to promote emotional development, with the right heart centered, communication and leadership training, our nation could flourish once again. You don’t have to be an athlete, brilliant scholar, or supremely talented at anything to make a huge difference in this world. We can all learn how to communicate and cooperate so generations that follow will flourish.
In the coming newsletters, I will be sharing insights I’ve learned from neuroscientist, Andrew Huberman, about our biology and how to optimize our energy. I’ve also been studying, Never Split The Difference by Chris Voss, a hostage negotiator, on how to listen and communicate effectively by uncovering the dynamics behind the scenes. Elizabeth Gilbert describes something she calls “purpose anxiety", and her research can help us learn how to become more present in the moment we’re living. All newsletter topics and/or songs add to our goal of developing young leaders who desire to make life bright.
I hope you’ll stay with us, check out our website D1Productions.coach, and tune into Heartbeat Harmonies. We love having you on this team!
Please bring anyone else to D1P who you think would like to join our efforts to prepare the younger generations for these storms we’re going through.
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